mothers day

"So what are your plans? Do you plan on going back to Iowa?" he asks. We're in a big group, so I'm not about to blurt out how I actually feel.**What! Why would I go to Iowa? To visit a grave??**"hmm..nope. Just staying here. You?"I quickly end the conversation and run back to my friends. I kind of want to cry, but realize I can't. This person doesn't know - most don't. I can't expect everyone to just know...he was just making conversation and it's just a day, but sometimes holidays can be rough. I do my best to make the most of them, and remember that there isn't a "formula" for how a holiday is supposed to look, but holidays bring up the fact that you can forget the day-to-day-ness of someone. And remembering the forgotten makes you question who you are.Are you "you" because you lost them? And would you be the same with them?These questions and a variation of more will probably be with me for the rest of my life. I'll always "wonder" about things, but I like who I am. So I have to think that she'd like who I am too, and that I would have gotten here regardless.My memories are faded, but we learn to hold onto the best parts of a person. My mother used to love flowers. Maybe this is why I'm so drawn to them. Sometimes, I like to think that she's the moments I stop to smell the flowers and notice beauty.Here are some moments from last week..Hope you all had a lovely weekend and a Happy Mother's Day! :)xo