//I've never been good with goodbyes, but we had a great send off for our dear friends with delicious Mexican food and shuffleboard (both of these places: Just Go. Yum and Fun!).It will be wonderful to visit them in the sunshine state in the colder months.Other miscellany includes impromptu date nights with square ice cubes on rooftops, finding juices on the Highline, and soaking up the last of September days.**not pictured: Sitting next to Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the amazing planetarium show. (We did not bother him, but secretly I thought it was cool! hehe)
//Gum-balls in Queens (how I wish I could jump in there!), a walk on the Williamsburg Bridge, lawn ornaments by my house, awesome office friends [seriously, I love these guys], trying to get across town on Halloween (it was hell, but those kids in the townhouse were so funny), and some flora and fauna of the fall.Fall was fun, but I'm glad that tomorrow marks the shortest day of the year because THAT means the days will start getting longer. One microsecond at a time. ♥
Change doesn't always happen overnight, it happens in small little circles and a shit ton of "back and forths". We have to remember patience and allow enough s p a c e to look honestly at patterns and then figure out what to do with them - if anything. I believe growth comes from recognizing patterns and finding ways to talk about them. Making sure the words coming out of someone's mouth are actually translated properly in the mind. For they are too easily distorted.
Lately, I've found it too difficult to actually BE with myself and whatever's coming up. I've felt disconnected from my body, as if I'm watching the experiences as a shadow. That's not to say I'm not enjoying things because I have had a freaking blast at this month's events (apparently, November was the month for all of my friends to throw parties), but there has been some blue lurking around. Actually, it's more of dull gray. I haven't painted in a few months and can't seem to find it in me to try. I'm too afraid that the paintings will look the same as others I've done, too many swirls and glitter. The inner voice reminding me to just paint is hard to find, it's too lost in a tangle of a bunch of crap.
It's always good to escape the city. To get away from the clusters of crowds, the hurried motion, and immerse yourself into a place where you feel a little more steadied. To feel inspired. I felt better the moment I got off the train in Coldspring. And the woods were filled with little bits of magic everywhere. Tree houses for fairies, a blanket of fallen leaves, and everything was golden. As the sun set, it burned so brightly on along another mountain. It looked electric. I've always felt held in these mountains, protected in a way.
Looking at the photos I am still inspired. When the time is right, I hope to try and capture some of the magic on canvas. Until then, here are my blurry photos (it was quite chilly!).
This life...Is fleeting like a butterfly.Last night I realized how lucky I am. This life I have is really full. And even though there are times I am lonely, I know that they fade. Everything changes, even those dark moments. But walking home from yoga I realized how free I am. I have no real responsibilities other than the goals I want for myself. Right now those are excelling at work and creating art. And lately music too. Maybe one of these days I'll actually learn a language, to knit, and be better at paying attention the news. But it's the little things that count, like listening to NPR on my walk to the train and buying old books on street corners.
Last night when showering, I realized how much I would miss not living with Hayden someday and when he locks the cat in the bathroom with me (she likes this). I would miss that hole in the ceiling and laughing about the series of landlords named "Frank" we've had for the past few months.It made me realize that I don't need to rush out of this life because sooner than I probably realize, it too, will change.
Life is beautiful (despite the shorter days and the upcoming fall).