Musings by Kim Tateo
↓
//
This was an amazing follow up to our last friend's outing, except this time we added some people which meant more fun, getting a larger house and larger vehicles. I drove the "church van" and Brandon drove the "dad van". The fall foliage was at it's peak and we had many moments.
//
I've never been good with goodbyes, but we had a great send off for our dear friends with delicious Mexican food and shuffleboard (both of these places: Just Go. Yum and Fun!). It will be wonderful to visit them in the sunshine state in the colder months. Other miscellany includes impromptu date nights with square ice cubes on rooftops, finding juices on the Highline, and soaking up the last of September days.
**not pictured: Sitting next to Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the amazing planetarium show. (We did not bother him, but secretly I thought it was cool! hehe)
//
We almost missed the train, but I'm so glad we didn't. At midnight we rushed to Penn Station and made it just in time to take the train to Montauk. After a restless sleep (and getting yelled at by a train conductor because apparently we were in the wrong car) we arrived just after 4:00 am. The air was cool, but you could feel the last bits of summer holding on. (One) of my favorite parts is walking to the beach. It's nearly pitch black, but the air is salty and the waves sound intimidatingly enormous. It's incredible just how fast the sky shifts from a sparkle blanket and shooting stars to the best color show you've ever seen. The darkest blues, brightest pinks, deep purples, and deep orange.We snuggled and danced and watched a seagull find a leftover pizza. The rest of the day was full of adventure, as all the days have been since I met my sparkle partner. *
**
It was a lovely summer. Full of friends, celebrations of love, kitty snuggles, kisses, mountain adventures, midnight trains to Montauk, beach days, sparklers (!), and so much more.
Per the usual, I noticed the shifting season at the end of July, but I wasn't as overcome as I usually am with the worry and fear of the fall. I've been painting a bunch and have a whole new series that I can't wait to share. Some of the paintings have been in progress for several months and even still - they aren't quite finished. I was deep into painting tiny little dots with a number 2 long liner, when I had a revelation: Tiny Brush Meditation.
What was (is) missing from many of these are the tiniest of details. When pausing to ask myself if I'd rather have the painting "finished", I reminded myself that I enjoy the process of painting. I love creating, mixing colors, and making little moments. Sometimes I pretend that the little details of white are tiny spirits coming to life.In many ways, this can be translated to my day-to-day life. While I have a grand vision for what I want to be doing and how much I'd like to hold onto moments of happiness and keep them in pretty, little boxes; I know I can't. That there are lots of moments and changes to come. That I can only have some idea of what's in store, but the only thing I can really control is myself. Not to mention, the actual living part of life can be rather enjoyable. When you let it.
*
**Once upon a time, there was the tiniest of tiny fairies. To the human eye, she was a mere speck of dust. She floated about the world, traveling from place to place. She had many adventures and enjoyed the animals. It goes without saying that there were times of sadness, some bumps, falls, and times of feeling stuck. Sometimes the loneliness hung around like a thin veil over her eyes, but she always found herself happiest when lost in thought and dreams. One day while floating along, she saw something shiny – a thin strand of silver, full of life and sparkles, but a simple gray hair to most. She floated to it and instantly found herself flying. The world started to twist and turn in ways she hadn't imagined—the flowers she used to sleep on opened into never-ending pathways of glitter. The light was golden, but the sky was bright, and the trees were emerald. In the evening, it opened into thousands of magical stars, all seemingly in conversation with one another.
The world of magic she dreamt of was real and a new lightness came over her.
One evening while watching the sun say goodnight to the moon, she noticed the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It felt like she had been struck by lightning and disassembled into a million pieces of air. The feeling was weightless yet grounding, as if she was a tree with deep roots. As she got closer, she noticed that it was another fairy. He had the kindest eyes and warmest smile she had ever seen.
"Hello!" she exclaimed – she was sure she whispered, but apparently was shouting with excitement.
The hello's turned into more hello's and rarely turned into goodbyes. The connection was effortless, and they continued to drift along, exploring the magical world together. They enjoyed the joyous laughter of a tall boy with dark curls when walking by a store called, Dilruba, so much that they decided to name their own world after it....this is a little map of part of their world.
Happiest of happy birthdays to the man that made me realize magic was real.
**Exploring an abandoned apartment building/hotel (?) somewhere in Pennsylvania (post Poconos trip).
Not pictured: The absolute eeriness of the place.
//
It's interesting to look back at old posts on this space. Some moments are cringeworthy because they remind me of the times when I tried so hard, leaving a certain melancholy hidden in overly happy writing. Part of me that wishes I could erase large parts of my past because sometimes I hate thinking that there was ever anything before this effortless happiness I've found. But I realize that sometimes it takes going in a few circles before you realize that there really is a simplicity to it all. It likely took all those turns in order for me to figure out what was most important. Be true to yourself. Be honest with what you want.
I wish I'd done this sooner - truly - because ever since I gave myself permission to be me, I've been happier than I've ever been and I'm just so, so thankful. ♥
**pictured: a midnight birthday kiss while playing with light and open shutters. the second photo shows what it's like to drop your phone...
//
Ten awesome friends, two days, lots of sparklers, SO much laughter (too many inside jokes to even write), FIREWORKS, The Delaware Water gap (what a shitty swimming hole! at least the part we paid $10 for was), exploring an abandoned building (picks TK!), late night conversations with a giant super moon ... these are the days of summer and they are glorious.I can't wait for our next friend trip!
full set | #poconoswhatyoudidthissummer
Not pictured: Just how much I love sparklers and the maniacal laugh that came out of me when I lit all of them on fire. Hayden almost captured it. | Getting stung by some sort of insect while sharing the story of the early days of my new love. |Texts between "car 1" and "car 2" | sparkle* | the "sorting" game that I was convinced we were playing where people had to put their empty drink container in a corner | Our midnight bakery which started with cheddar biscuits and ended with multiple combinations of bread and cheese (this was not a healthy weekend and we didn't mind one bit.) | The lovely moments I had with all of my special friends. So far, my 30's are fabulous.
p.s. thanks to car 1 for the awesome hashtags.
he followed the sun & she followed the stars & in dreams they listened closely for the beginning of all things, for that was where they knew they'd find each other.
*
In that moment, our eyes met & I remember thinking This is what it is like to be struck by lightning, knowing I would never be untouched by him again.
via storypeople. ♥
**
Fireworks, friends, singing, waking up early to watch the sunrise and enjoying long sunsets. What a perfect weekend. Although, it was a little strange to find the random person sleeping on our roof at 5:00 am.
Not pictured: Getting to ride on the back of a motorcycle! Our family is too big for one little car! | The funny cards on the Evil Apples game (it's just like Cards Against Humanity, but in an app-version. You just need a good wi-fi connection!) | Our amazing rendition of Cell Block Tango | Just how much my heart sparkles for my handsome, dreamy man - the fireworks got nothing on my love sparkles. *✧*
**
I often talk about my garden of friends. How each relationship in my life is like a flower, which I try and nurture and grow. Over the past few months, my garden has really grown and it is absolutely beautiful. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I am so very thankful. ❤
pictured: delicious breakfasts and typical morning moments | 10 in 10 | the view after a glorious hammock nap | the pups | fireflies (all of the tiny green dots) | poolside reading | caesar loved the water, but it was slightly terrifying swimming with him - he also had a particularly affinity for one | final selfies at squirrel run!not pictured: how freaking delicious the food was | leading a morning yoga sequence and making us shoot love-sparkle wishes in warrior two | the silliness of having three happy pups in a house | game night with the funniest descriptions of taboo i have ever heard | just HOW beautiful the fireflies were, it looked like the trees were filled with twinkling christmas lights | the million times caesar jumped in the pool and how terribly he smelled after | watching back to the future and many world cup games.
**A few remaining snaps from the recent trip home.
**Painting is my happy place. I love creating little worlds to dream in. I have several paintings to share, but these two are the most recent ones. These were dreamt up after hiking around caves in Iowa.
**I think most people would agree that this past winter was long and a bit dreadful. While I enjoyed the pretty snow, I was ready for warmer months and bits of color instead of the grayscale mornings. After a period of blue, a friend cheered me up by reminding me that the harsh winter was going to bring a bright spring and summer. That the earth would be fertile, retaining the water from its melted snow. She was right. June in Iowa was particularly bright; ditches filled with flowers and emerald green everywhere. **pictured: trails from the Maquoketa Caves, late nights playing with sparklers, morning light from the trees in my childhood home, ditch flowers, and the open roads of Iowa. not pictured: the great conversations had on those trails (this girl is fabulous), pretending I was a wizard (I am just NOW reading the Harry Potter series [10+ years late - I know] and I freaking LOVE them - that is all!), the many looks of confused drivers passing by while I hung out in the ditch crouching down to take photos, face-timing on the side of the road to share a beautiful sunset and just how badly I wanted to reach through the phone for a kiss, and the nice man that gave me permission to enter the bean field so I could get a better shot of the reminders of love. Iowa, you will always have a bit of my ♥.
**
This weekend was eventful. I spent most of the summer solstice traveling back from Iowa (pics TK), but Sunday was an adventure. We had a delicious brunch and went to the Eagle Street Rooftop Farm. Nicole and I were able to identify most of the vegetation, which made us feel really smart (though, she knows much more than I do!). As we were leaving the staff asked if we knew anyone with a backyard and showed us a chicken - apparently this chicken ran away from a slaughterhouse! I offered to help by taking the chicken to the Composting Learning Center at Earth Matter.
I've been working with Earth Matter for the past few months. After building their website, I couldn't help but stay on to help with volunteer coordination and social media. It's been a great experience and I truly LOVE hanging out on Governors Island.Come visit us and hang out with Eagle!
**Also pictured, growing the garden of friends and bonding over "Goya" products while watching the World Cup - yet another sport I am clueless about.
**
There’s a thing about listening to yourself – the deep-to-the-core kind of listening that helps you follow your heart. You realize that you’re a lot stronger and smarter than you ever gave yourself credit for. That the answers you were looking for, were always with you.
Over a year ago I told myself that I needed three months – a brief period of time to wear the “sorting hat” – to figure out things out.In the colder months, I finally took that time.
This wasn’t always easy and there were moments of blue. Honest and difficult conversations were had with myself. I learned to appreciate the nicety in feeling attractive, but learned to hold my eager heart.Love is a wonderful feeling, but finding the person that moves your core is different - it shakes your soul.
My heart stopped the day I saw a tall, dark-haired boy with amazing curls and it started skipping when I saw him walking towards me. My crush was obvious to our mutual friends and, eventually, I worked up the courage to share it with him. There were a bunch of firsts and just like that it started to fall into place.
I am beyond grateful – for my friends, the sunshine, and my curiosity and imagination for this life. My heart smiles knowing that I’ve found my true sparkle partner.
It just took me finding myself first.♥
... talented friends doing brilliant things at improv... jumbo jenga! watching something like a magic trick - my ♥ pulled one of the blocks from the center so quick and it didn't fall.... looking up all of the classic 90's boys bands on our phone and belting them out in a cab with lots of little kisses in between.... the glorious golden sunsets of June (and almost making it in time to see the manhattenhenge!)... hanging out at the Governors Ball. We likened this to "hanging in sparkle bubble" because we made lots of new friends and danced. so. much. also, i might have sprinkled actual glitter on people.... new sunglasses that make everything look like sparkles. "there's rose colored glasses and then there's sparkle glasses...."... walking back from Randall's Island over the Triborough / RFK Bridge and staring at the skyline. I've decided the Manhattan skyline is really just a bunch of pens writing in the sky. This WILL be a painting.... dancing around an empty Tompkins Square Park after midnight and creating a "play". To do this, one person must sit on the bench while wearing the sparkle glasses and the other person must take a glow stick and dance.... late night painting where we imagined hanging out in a forest with a stream of stars, tents in trees, and pillows everywhere.... finding my perfect sparkle partner who brings out my imagination even more than i dreamed possible. yay!**
**love this song. love these moments. love this life.**
We are taking in the new love
Watch the sky turn to gold
With every new direction
There's a story untold
There's a bed by the water
Maybe this could be home
We'll live together
And we'll never be alone, alone, alone
And our hands intertwining
Like the braids in my hair
We were waiting for the right time
Now it's here
~maria taylor
// life lately has been oh-so-good. not pictured: our enthusiasm for the awesome conor oberst show | tasting lots of salts, bitters, and chocolates at the meadow (go, it's so whimsical!) | adventure sundays where magic is found in mountains and by the sea | the little man in the tent at 4:00 am on the montauk beach |screaming while riding down giant hills headed towards the montauk lighthouse | the nice couple that took our photos since our phones were dead and being inspired stealing their idea of creating "adventure tattoos" | the little nap that was desperately needed before the phone fell on hayden's head and the little laughs we had after when he asked to me hang out on the ground with him. (p.s. he was not hurt!)♥♥♥♥
