Posts tagged little films
A little reflection and some holiday wishes

//

It has been quite the year. I haven't used this space for writing that much because I've spent more time handwriting in my journal (which was part of a manifesto that still guides me) and have been keeping more things to myself. Don't get me wrong, I still wear my heart on my sleeve (clearly - haha) and haven't lost my "art" of creating "awkward moments". In fact, the move to Troy was hard and all of my old "stuff" returned - lots of looping around and around again in self-doubt. Before moving, I had so. much. fear. of somehow returning to a version of myself that wouldn't be liked or that I would be too something. But I see now that even that version of me, the one that reaches and tries too hard and worries too much and seems overly eager, deserves love because we *all* have moments like this. It's being a human and it can be difficult to navigate the ocean of feelings, but I believe it's in this space (fear and feelings) that we are truly connected!

The fear I had leading up to it (the move) ended up being worse than the experience because Troy has been nothing short of wonderful. We've been welcomed into an amazing community of people (and animals!), I've poured my heart into my art and music, developed my own affinity for microbes, and Brendan's building is oh-so-close!

Despite the short-sighted vision (of some) for the future of our planet and all beings and all the actions against it, I am still full of gratitude, hope, and possibility for the New Year. Here's to finding moments of connection and sharing kindness to everyone, especially those that we don't fully understand. Let our hearts be bridges because our lights shine brighter together.

While there are many things OUT of my control, I am grateful for the ability to make silly greetings like this one and hope that they can bring some cheer.

So Happy Holidays dear ones. Hope you enjoy our little greeting and that it puts a smile on your face.

♥p.s. dearest garden of friends (old, new and reconnected): thank you for all of your support this year. My heart truly felt held by each of you in the hardest of moments. Thank you. Remember, I've always got your back too. :)

Previous greetings:
this might make George Michael roll in his grave
have a holly jolly christmas
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

Happy Holidays!

Let's be real. 2016 had some real shit moments. Don't get me wrong, it had many beautiful and amazing moments too - and these are what I hold on to. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't impacted by events of late (I realize that for some, it may have been a positive year, but you all know my leanings).

What helps: art, friends, laughter, wine, music, cat cuddles, and love. So much love.

With that, I'm sending *you* all lots of love - let it spark your own inner light and let that shine outward and ultimately, reflect back to you. I truly believe that the more we can all do this, the better and brighter this world will be. If nothing else, it would at least be a little kinder. 

Happy holidays! 
♥♥

Previous greetings:
have a holly jolly christmas
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

Past in Present

I've always been afraid of change. It makes me nervous and I sometimes (okay, often!) find myself looping, worried about changes to come.

But in looking back at these moments, I'm grateful for change and the ability to shift and grow. It makes me know that I'll be okay, with whatever changes *do* come my way.Change does not always equal loss. In fact, sometimes, it can bring a whole lot of love. And even in those more difficult times, there's something about knowing that change is the only constant.

Because sometimes you'll find yourself, months later, OUT of a blue period, barely remembering that you didn't think you'd survive. But you did, and you will, again and again and again. 
//

This video is a collection of moments from the past two years. Please forgive some of my poor iphone orientation shooting!

❤Music by:
"Past in Present" by Fiest
"Plasticities" by Andrew Bird
"Mother & Father" by Broods
"Holocene" by Bon Iver

The Happiest of Holidays to all of you! ♥

Wishing you all a bright, merry, and l♥ve-filled Christmas, Hannukuh, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Festivus and whatever else you celebrate!!
Also, Happy Winter Solstice (yay for longer days!!)
Hope you've been enjoying the holiday season - despite this unseasonably warm December!
♥♥
//
Previous greetings:
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

*Sparkle Partners Forever*
KIM_BRENDAN-23.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-38.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-114.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-176.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-311.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-297.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-337.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-340.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-358.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-383.jpg
KIM_BRENDAN-500.jpg
Screen-Shot-2015-08-18-at-6.04.01-PM.png

//

I still remember the cold spring day when I met Brendan. The wind was strong when I noticed him -- deep brown curls blowing in the wind. There was something about him that took my breath away. When I saw him walking towards me (because he was with our mutual friend), fireworks started in my stomach and out of my mouth in the form of a million, rapid-fire questions.

*yes, he was overwhelmed at first*

But then we met a few weeks later and I was a little calmer -- or at least appeared to be on the outside -- but I'm sure my stomach was in knots. It's hard to describe the feeling -- nothing has ever made me as nervous as he had, but at the same time I also felt a certain surety. When I finally worked up the courage to ask for his number, I remember running home and singing to the cats. Hayden laughed.

You see, he was a little quieter than me and I never felt like I could get the words right. I found myself with one-word answers with a certain spaciousness around them.

Me: So what do you like to do?
Him: Walk.
Me: Um, where do you like to walk?
Him: Around.
Me: Well, maybe we could 'walk around' together someday. (inner dialogue: hand-to-head, did that sound stupid!?)

Being the person I am, spaciousness seemed (is) scary, but I learned that it's exactly what I needed. Over the past year, he has given me nothing but *s p a c e* to be myself -- this has been very healing.//

I’ve been wanting to write about the wedding for the past few months, but the other day experienced something to frame it.It was a really rough day for a lot of silly reasons and I spent the better part of it in tears. The mental hamster wheel was spinning. In the past, this self-depreciating, self-worth spiral to hell would last a lot longer and I would be *even* harder on myself -- forget the second arrow, it was more like ten.But this time, there was something different.

I didn't ignore the negative feelings that were coming up, but I didn't let them take over me like they so often do. There was a small, half-fingernail size part of me that fought back. It reminded me of my own self-worth.

Later that night, I caught his eye while he was looking at me. He had just been telling me how pretty I looked and I felt his gaze. It was vulnerable and I felt that nervous-feeling again from those early days.

It was then that I realized that he really does SEE me. Yes, he sees my hair and smile, but he easily sees straight through to that half-fingernail sized part of myself that understands and fights back for my own self-worth.You hear about love at first sight, but to me, meeting Brendan was more of a coming home. Because his seeing me, really allows ME to see and love myself even more. The more this happens, the more *space* there is for playfulness and adventure (which we both happened to mention in our vows ❤).

//

The above are some of my favorite wedding photos, taken by the lovely ladies at BAM Weddings.

Also, here's a little video I made, full of lots of hugs. Making this video was so much fun, because it allowed me to experience the wedding. The actual day itself was a blur, but this let me feel into it all again.

More memories/reflections on our wedding website.

Thank you to everyone who made it and for all of the well-wishes. Big love! ❤ 

A sparkle partner Christmas ♥

It's been amazing year. I found the love of my life, better known as my "sparkle partner". Before Brendan I never used this term, but the day I met him my heart sparked in a way that was unlike anything I had felt before. I am so thrilled that I've found someone I can share adventures with. I really have never felt so loved, beautiful, and appreciated.

For all of these reasons (and the fact that he's so willing to be playful with me [like in this video!] !!) he is my "sparkle partner".

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, full of Love and of course, sparkles.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

♥♥

from the time we saved a chicken
chicken.jpg
wc.jpg

**

This weekend was eventful. I spent most of the summer solstice traveling back from Iowa (pics TK), but Sunday was an adventure. We had a delicious brunch and went to the Eagle Street Rooftop Farm. Nicole and I were able to identify most of the vegetation, which made us feel really smart (though, she knows much more than I do!). As we were leaving the staff asked if we knew anyone with a backyard and showed us a chicken - apparently this chicken ran away from a slaughterhouse!  I offered to help by taking the chicken to the Composting Learning Center at Earth Matter.

I've been working with Earth Matter for the past few months. After building their website, I couldn't help but stay on to help with volunteer coordination and social media. It's been a great experience and I truly LOVE hanging out on Governors Island.Come visit us and hang out with Eagle!

**Also pictured, growing the garden of friends and bonding over "Goya" products while watching the World Cup - yet another sport I am clueless about.